Understanding the process of your child's anger

It is my belief that no child wakes up in the morning deciding to be angry. No parent does either. It is not a desirable state, it is an unhappy state and one which we want to avoid. It is also a very unhealthy state which leads to stress and disease.

Let's look at the process of how anger happens so we have a better understanding of how and when to intervene.

Let me explain the process. You'll probably find it helpful to fill in the little sentence completions at the end of each stage. Do the exercise for yourself and your own anger first so you familiarise yourself with the different stages. Then repeat it for your child or teen.

First something happens, something you see or hear or something someone does. It may also be a smell or taste. Basically through your senses, you notice something. Something has happened. We call it an external event. It's important to note a few things about this external event

1) You cannot control an external event. You can control what you make it mean and …