That anger issue -demystified

I have so many calls and discussions with mums about their child’s ‘anger issue’ and thought it might be helpful to explain how anger starts and how it finishes its journey because this will, I hope, help you to pick it up before it manifests in your home as behaviour or shouting or probably both.

It is my belief that children don’t set out to be angry. They don’t wake up in the morning thinking about who they want to shout at. They need to feel loved and safe but they also need to be seen and heard. You are their main caregiver and it’s you they want first and foremost so it isn’t in their interests to make you angry with them ……unless they are feeling what we call ‘poor me’.

‘Poor me’ is the ‘victim’ position in the Drama Triangle which Dr Stephen Karpman writes about to explain the dynamics of conflict in relatio…