KEEPING YOUR LANGUAGE 'CLEAN'

How to ensure you truly hear what your children are saying

When our child speaks, we filter what they say. It’s normal and natural. We filter all we see, hear and feel, otherwise we would go into overload. So first we

• Delete parts of it, getting the main gist, key words, key sentiment

• Generalise, not that again, they always do/say that or why do they never listen

• Distort it’s going to be a nightmare getting them to bed tonight

The filters come from our map of the world and are all assumptions of their map.

What if we were to simply be in their map for a while and really listen and understand?

So how do we do that?

1. Silence - let them continue, is there more they want to say?

2. Nod - to show we are present with them in their space

3. Smile - to show we love them even when we don’t agree

4. Touch them gently - to show we love them even when we don’t understand

All these are non verbal for a reason. Non verbal communication is more powerful, it respects their right to be seen and heard and acknowledges that we cannot ‘no communicate’. Our physiology and our bod…