Boosting your child's self-esteem

So let me tell you straight away that you can’t boost your child’s self-esteem. They have to do it themselves because no matter what you say to them, they will take it with a pinch of salt because they know you will think they are amazing because you’re their mum or dad.

So how can you help them?

1. Stop rescuing them!

When children say they can’t do something, feel useless, feel no-one likes them or avoids new situations, they are occupying what we call the ‘victim’ role. This is what we call ‘poor me’.

It’s so tempting as a parent to swoop in and try to fix whatever is the problem, after all, we can, can’t we? We know what to do and how to do it. We love them and want the best for them. We certainly don’t want them to suffer. So we help them. This feels like the right thing to do.

But it isn’t.

By fixing, what we say is “You can’t do this”, “You need me to help” and this confirms their belief that they really are ‘poor me’. It consolidates their feelings of low self-esteem.

Instead, take…