Are you anxious, secure or avoidant attached?

I've been reading a lot about attachment theory because after empty nest stage and hubbie retiring I found myself a bit adrift; unsure who I was as a woman and unsure who I was as a wife. We met fairly late in life when I was 30yrs old and we had our children straight away so we didn't have a long period together as a couple. So when the kids no longer really needed me as a mum, I started wondering what my role was. My hubbie is very self-sufficient and found my constant need for attention, stifling and he rebelled. This caused me to be even more anxious and I felt quite unloved. I started to read up on everything I could find and like most therapists, I sought therapy for myself.

My learning has made a profound difference in my life because I realised that right from childhood, I had the potential to have anxious attachment. There were lots of very happy social times and I had lots of friends but I was very sensitive to fallouts or conflict, taking them very personally.

In a nutshell, …